Dr Zairi Zaidi
The Reality Beneath the Surface
Not every battle in life can be seen from the outside.
I could walk normally and move through life like everyone else. To most people, I appeared completely fine. But since childhood, my vision had never fully recovered after an infection permanently affected my eyes.
For years, I rarely spoke about it.
Perhaps because some conditions are difficult for people to fully understand when they cannot immediately see them.
Looking back today, I no longer see those experiences negatively. In many ways, they shaped my thinking, my character, and the way I see life itself.
They taught me humility, self-awareness, and a simple truth:
Human potential is often far greater than the excuses we give ourselves.
The Years That Shaped Me
School and university were where life became more demanding.
Inside the classroom, I could barely see what was written on the board or displayed on the screen. While others learned visually, I relied heavily on listening, memory, and adaptation.
Sometimes I borrowed notes from friends and copied them during class. Other times, I took photos using my phone and rewrote everything again later on my own. Much of my learning happened after class, not during it.
While many students could return home and rest, I usually had to continue studying for hours just to fully understand what had been taught earlier.
Over time, those experiences shaped more than my academic life. They taught me discipline, humility, and the importance of living with goals worth pursuing.
To me, education was never simply about grades. It was training for life itself.
Beyond the Borders of Home
Since my school years, I had always dreamed of studying abroad.
I wanted to experience a different part of the world, to learn beyond the environment I had always known, and to see life from a wider perspective.
After completing my undergraduate studies in Malaysia, I continued my master’s degree in the United Kingdom. It was a chapter of life I had imagined for many years.
Living abroad came with its own adjustments, especially with my visual condition. But by then, adapting had already become part of my daily life.
More than anything, the experience expanded the way I think. It exposed me to different cultures, different ideas, and a world far bigger than the one I had grown up in.
Sometimes, a new environment does more than change our surroundings.
It changes the way we see life itself.
The Deepest Academic Journey
After completing my master’s degree, I continued my journey into a PhD.
It became the most intellectually demanding phase of my life.
A PhD is far more than academic research. It tests patience, discipline, mental endurance, and the ability to continue moving forward even when progress feels slow and uncertain.
There were long periods of deep thinking, constant questioning, and complete immersion in knowledge. Over time, the experience shaped not only the way I approached research, but also the way I approached life itself.
Looking back today, I realise that many of the years spent in academia were never only about academic achievement.
They were preparing me for adulthood long before adulthood fully arrived.
The Chapter I Never Expected
Shortly after completing my PhD, I began experiencing something I could not fully understand at the time.
My thoughts became increasingly restless. I found myself worrying constantly, even over small things. But it was more than emotion alone. The experience slowly affected my body as well. There were moments of rapid heartbeat, chest discomfort, headaches, mental exhaustion, and an overwhelming desire to escape from my own state of mind.
At first, I did not realise that what I was experiencing was anxiety disorder.
Eventually, I made the decision to seek professional help and walked into a psychiatric clinic at the hospital. From there, I began receiving psychiatric and psychological treatment.
Over time, things slowly became clearer.
I became more aware of my emotions, my thoughts, and the importance of understanding the mind with honesty rather than denial.
To me, anxiety was never a sign of weakness.
If anything, it became part of a larger journey that taught me the importance of self-awareness, inner clarity, and living a more meaningful life. Sometimes, the mind becomes loud not to destroy us, but to force us to finally listen to ourselves.
The Fire That Never Went Out
Today, I spend part of my time sharing reflections about self-awareness, growth, and meaningful living through social media. I am also involved in the world of digital business and technology, particularly in helping businesses adapt to an increasingly digital world.
Like every meaningful journey in life, it is a process that continues to evolve.
Looking back, I no longer see life as a race to appear successful.
I see it as a continuous process of becoming.
Every phase of my journey, from living with a visual condition, to years of academic pursuit, to experiencing anxiety disorder, has taught me that human beings are often far more capable than they believe themselves to be.
Perhaps that is why I have never been interested in giving people empty motivation.
What matters more to me is perspective.
Because sometimes, all a person needs is the realisation that excuses are often smaller than the potential already living within them.
And maybe that is one of the greatest responsibilities we have in life:
To fully use the abilities we have been given, while we still have the chance to do so.
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